Besaid Chronicles IV
by xX GTAshadow Xx
Summary: More mayhem ensues... ! ..dude, whatever, man..
1. Stuff Happens

**Besaid Chronicles IV**

_(One note first: the ol' Disney obession'll never die, BUT the only cameos here will likely be other FFs and maybe Carl Johnson... possibly SMALL Disney cameos, but nothing huge...)_

_Now, let us start... (frickin' Golbez...)_

_Remember the Clubhouse? Well, there's a giant Flan in it. Yuna hired Golbez to kill it. Golbez was hired due to Tidus meeting him... he then got kicked out for eating all the pie and drinking all of Auron's beer. _

Rikku - "We won't be bothered by Golbez anytime soon!"

_The TV is turned on..._

_**An Ad for 'Exdeath Brand Tires'.**_

_**Switch.**_

_**The News: Top Story - 'Princess Garnet Resembles Selena Gomez'.**_

_**Switch.**_

_**'You want 9 million of MY gil to fund your f--kin' casino!? You, sir, are an idiot!'**_

_**'But Salvatore, this could mean big things for the Leone's AND the Sindacco's!'**_

_**'...all right. Fine! But if it fails... I'm gonna mess you up.'**_

_**Switch off.**_

_Rikku's Robot wanders in. (remember the robot? no?)_

Robot - "IT'S OVER 9000!! WHAT THE FU--(BOOM!!)"

_The robot has self-destructed. Oddly, the clubhouse is still intact. _

Rikku - "My robot! ...well, it was getting glitchy.. it blew up the airship's microwave, making a HUGE mess of popcorn!"

Yuna - "There's some guys fighting outside. It looks like Tidus and some armored man and an emperor-looking guy.

Rikku - "Maybe Auron will help out. Or you could summon..."

Yuna - "Great! I'll summon Pikachu!"

_Yuna summons Pikachu. Pikachu proceeds to shock the hell out of the armored man while Tidus beats up the emperor-guy. _

Emperor - "Unngaah!!"

_The Emperor disappears._

Tidus - "What's this 'Unngaag!!' business?"

Armored Man - "Urgrggh!! Arggh!"

_The Armored Man disappears._

Rikku - "They won! Thanks to Pikachu!"

Yuna - "Look! Carl Johnson's delivery is coming! Those guys must have been blocking it!"

_CJ drives his truck up and delivers the goods._

_**Oreos, Ammo, Blitzballs, Black Armor, Light Armor, Onion Knight (!), Exdeath Tires, Exdeath (!!), Bartz (now this getting weird)...**_

_Bartz and Exdeath fight. Bartz wins. Onion Knight steals Oreos and runs away. CJ gets paid and drives off. _

_**Continued...**_

_**Should Gabranth make a cameo? Or Shantotto maybe? Shantotto's awesome with her combo's of magic. And Bind. And Bio. And EX Mode.**_


	2. The Chocogoblin

_Golbez is sitting at his desk... WTF? Golbez? _

Golbez - "This coffee tastes like liquid shit!"

Exdeath - "I fumub ka kinka bubba doba dock!"

WTF?

_Well, whatever... let's get the hell back to Besaid... !_

Shantotto - "I just saw someone run by with tremendous speed, and that

shall be my good deed."

Rikku - "Who are you, anyway?"

_Shantotto disappears, leaving only a doll._

Rikku - "She was a doll?"

_The someone Shantotto mentioned was Vaan. Tidus had been chasing him, but his speed was too great._

Tidus - "Where is he?"

_Carl Johnson drives by and drops off a few guns._

Rikku - "Hey, he remembered!"

_Rikku and some Al Bhed soldiers grab the guns. They set out into the wilderness._

Rikku - "Remember: we're hunting the infamous Chocogoblin. It holds an item called 'chococite'.

_Sephiroth comes down and clears a path, then disappears._

Rikku - "Weird, but I'll take it!"

_The soldiers search the wilderness. They find the Chocogoblin. They get choco-buckled, eye-gouged, pecked, and trampled... but they defeat it and grab the chococite. _

Rikku - "Let's get this back to the hideout!"

_Toni Cipriani picks them up and takes them to Besaid, then drives off. (Or, rather, flies off with an odd anti-gravity field...)_

Rikku - "What is this..? What could it do..?"

_While Rikku ponders the meaning of the chococite, Yuna enters with some Yuneos._

Rikku - "Breaktime, guys!"

_They all start to devour the Yuneos._

Yuna - "...well, at least they like them.."

**Continued...**


	3. Stuff Happens II

_Rikku is watching the 'Dissidia Network'... wtf?_

_**Wow! What a nice blow from Tidus!! Golbez is gonna want vengeance! Oh! Tidus interrupted it! Ah! He EXPLODED into a Slice-and-Dice! Tidus wins! **_

_**"Yeah! Now time to kick Squall's ass!"**_

_Outside, someone's egging the clubhouse. Rikku, Wakka, and Auron got outside to check._

Wakka - "Hey, who's that?"

_The assailant switches to marbles and chucks them at Wakka._

Wakka - "HEY!"

???? - "The name's Hopkins! Jimmy Hopkins! And don't you forget it!

_Jimmy Hopkins escapes on a skateboard._

_Yuna comes out and sees the egg damage._

Yuna - "What a mess... oh well, come out Leviathan!"

_What? Leviathan!? Since when!?_

_Leviathan (wtf?) washes the clubhouse._

_Over in the Besaid Town Square, Jimmy Hopkins is busted by one of the Aurochs. (Hey, they CAN be useful...)_

Datto - "I saw you egg the clubhouse and the inn!"

Keepa - "Lemme get the rest of those eggs! I'm gonna make an omelet!"

_While Keepa goes to make his omelet and Rikku sets up traps against Jimmy Hopkins and the Egg-Attacks, let's have a rant!_

_**Tidus came back from Dissidia with 12900 gil and a Beckoning Cat. Jecht had also sent out some Lifestones, Water Stones, and Wind Stones so Yuna could make a Rosetta Stone. Jimmy Hopkins threw eggs at Rikku. Rikku threw a Sleep Grenade and got Jimmy busted. Auron broke up a feud between some Nerds and Jocks at the Temple. Leviathan cleaned everything up. Oh, and Yuna made Yuneos. Rikku loved that.**_

Rikku - "What was that?"

_My rants ain't what they used to be...?_

_What about the rumor of Xion joining SeeD? Wait, you don't need to know about that..._

_Oh by the way..._

_Wakka sends Seymour a small treasure chest. Seymour opens it._

Seymour - "WHAT THE FU__!" (BOOOOM!!)

_Seymour goes flying and lands in Vayne's compost pile. (WTF?)_

Vayne - "Who the devil are you?"

_Vayne kicks the crap out of Seymour._

_**Continued...**_

_Yuna buys more eggs, since Jimmy stole most of them._


	4. Call of Duty Black Ops

_Rikku is playing CoD - Modern Warfare 2 online._

Rikku - "Wow, this 'CrappyPage' person is good! So is 'TitianWinter53'! Wait! What's that sound? Oh crap! 'CrappyPage' just got a Tactical Nuke! Dammit!

Yuna - "Rikku, you should go outside for a bit. Go see what the commotion is at the Temple."

Rikku - "Fine."

_Rikku heads to the Temple. Wakka and the other Aurochs are celebrating something._

Wakka - "Today's the day, ya? We finally got it! Look at this!"

_Wakka holds up 'Call of Duty - Black Ops'._

_The Aurochs cheer._

Datto - "I wonder if CrappyPage will be on..?"

Letty - "I saw 'God' on XBOX Live."

_The Aurochs go inside the Temple for a Black Ops Team Deathmatch._

_**Advertisement**_

_Hungry? Well, make sure the cat doesn't get in your dinner. _

_Angry Cat Man Dinners_

_**End Advertisement**_

(A day without you is like a year without rain...)

(_Oh, Rikku's got the new Selena Gomez CD)_

Tidus - "Get back here!"

Vaan - "Yeah, bitch!"

_Tidus and ...Vaan (!) chase someone._

Yuna - "Not again... I summon Alexander!"

(What? Alexander?)

Yuna - "Find Miley and capture her!"

Alexander: YES LADY YUNA.

_Alexander uses Infrared Vision (again, WHAT?) to find Miley behind the Temple. He uses Divine Judgment and sends her to the void._

Wakka - "Alexander is jacked up, ya?"

Exdeath - "DON'T THROW YOUR JUNK IN MY VOID!"

Cloud of Darkness - "Fool! It's OUR Void!"

(_...Cloud of Darkness and Exdeath are married...?_)

Yuna - "...let's just leave it at that..."

_Yuna and Ifrit prepare a banquet for no apparent reason. Their guests are Sora, Riku, Kairi, Aqua, Ventus, Terra, Cloud, Tifa, Squall, Rinoa, Zidane, Garnet, Selena Gomez, Emily Osment, CrappyPage from XBOX Live, Niko Bellic, Johnny Klebbitz, Luis Lopez, and... Mario and Luigi._

_**Continued... later.**_

_**Notes - CrappyPage, TitianWinter53... just a couple gamertags from XBOX Live. **_


	5. WTF is this?

_Turns out MW2 is better than Black Ops, since MW2 is what the Aurochs kept playing... _

Wakka - "It was too easy to get the attack dogs, ya?"

Datto - "11 killstreak? Tactical Nuke's better!"

_Yuna has also been training her Aeons lately._

Yuna - "Shiva! Strike now! Bahamut! Cascading strength!"

_Yuna can still rhyme, too.._

Yuna - "Guide us with your light! Burn everything in sight!"

_WTF?_

_Oh, here's a word from our sponsor:_

_Kuja - "Well now! Well now! Well now! Well now! Well now! Well now! Well now! Well now! Well now! Well now! Well now! Well now! Well now! Well now!"_

_Don't f—kin' go in my dinner!_

…_..? Sweet Cosmos..._

Garland - "Here I come! "Here I come! "Here I come! "Here I come! "Here I come! "Here I come! "

_Garland grabs the EX Core..._

_...and lets Yuna use it._

Yuna - "For the hope of the world!"

Garland - "Ugh! Blarrggh!"

_Well, looks like they didn't finish their Angry Cat Man Dinners... _

_...'cause the pikachu pack has gotten into them! _

_The MW2 tournament ended with Tidus getting a tactical nuke on Rust. They played a free for all in Terminal followed by Search and Destroy, Domination and Hardcore Free For All._

_There's on hell of a mess in the temple..._

_Oh well.._

Yuna - "Leviathan! Wash them away!"

_Leviathan again? WTF?_

_Where the hell's Anima? _

_Cut to Anima playing poker with the Magus Sisters and Bahamut. _

_Sweet Cosmos again..._

_Hey, Rikku was left alone in the clubhouse!_

Yuna - "Huh! Oh crap!"

_Rikku has thrown a party consisting of Miley Cyrus, Justin Bieber, the Jonas Brothers,and... Emily Osment. _

Yuna - "WHAT IN THE NAME OF COSMOS AND CHAOS HAPPENED HERE?"

_Leviathan is summoned again and washes them all out... except for Emily, who gets picked up by Cid and dropped off at the Stadium in Luca for her next big concert._

_The Luca Goers love her, but they tried to kidnap her and got kicked in the balls._

_Rikku is grounded (no sugar cookies!) and Ifrit and Bahamut are repairing the clubhouse. Auron came back, saw the damage, and left. Probably to kick the crap out of Hades with Sora's help. _

_Continued... _

_For the love of Cosmos, Rikku... why'd you do it?_

…_..?_

_News Story: Justin Bieber jailed for attempted kidnap of Emily Osment, Selena Gomez, and Ashley Leggat. Will be chained to Anima while Bahamut and Ifrit unleash their attacks. _


	6. Visions from Chococite

_(Note: things in __**BOLD**__ will be what's on TV)_

_WTF? Wakka's playing MW3! Cool!_

**TV**

_**"Wow! What a shot from Squall! What a way to combo from a Lightning assist attack! OH! Garland counters with a Kuja assist followed by Blaze!:**_

_**Switch.**_

_**"In 5, 4, 3, 2... I know, you see, somehow the world will change for me..."**_

_**Switch. **_

_**"How to make Spaghetti Tacos... hey! F-kin' cats! Get the f-k outta the kitchen! Don't f-kin run away from me!"**_

_**Switch off.**_

_Rikku still ponders what the chococite could be for? Who knows about these things? ...whatever..._

_Carl Johnson enters._

CJ - "Hey, I got stuff."

_Items: Spaghetti Taco Beginner's Kit, Desert Eagle, Victoria Justice poster, Reapoer Drone, Matamune, Vaan's Recipe for Rogue Tomato Tacos._

CJ -"Don't need to pay.."

_CJ leaves._

_Yuna enters with the chococite. _

Yuna - "I found the use for this! Come with me to the Temple!"

_Everyone goes to the Temple. Auron has set up a machine with Wakka and Tidus. Yuna inserts the chococite..._

_The world starts flashing different colors... everyone has visions of strange things... an unknown girl swinging around a sock full of butter, a red-haired girl digging through ice cream cups, three other girls trapped inside something, the same red-haired girl fooling around with some guys, two guys causing mayhem in a sushi factory, a guy with a puppet, some kid with a camera, a weird guy making a sculpture, and.. weirdest one yet... Tidus, Cloud, Cecil, and Firion running away from the girl with the 'butter-sock'._

Tidus - "That... really happened... we were looking for our crystals and.."

_Out of nowhere, the girl appears!_

Girl - "Ha! There you are!"

_The girl chases Tidus with the 'butter-sock'._

Yuna - "Oh, and the chococite allowed me to summon Chocobos.."

_Yuna summons Chocobo. It approaches the girl and the girl befriends it and rides off into to the sunset. _

Rikku - "Well, that was weird!"

Yuna - "Let's go back..."

_They return to the clubhouse for a huge party. Tidus and Wakka hold a MW3 tournament. Yuna makes Yuneos..and summons another Chocobo. Bartz runs in and fries some burgers, Rikku starts a webshow called 'iRikku', Auron takes over the Fahrenheit as his personal HQ, Serah and Noel arrive and serve Flan since they have enough to last 1000 years or something, Snow enters and gets kicked out by CJ who returned with his homies, Johnny Gat came in and just stood there 'cause who doesn't want Johnny Gat?_

_**Sorry to say, but this is...THE END.**_

_**!**_

_"Hell yeah, who doesn't wanna be Johnny Gat?"_


End file.
